Like Waves...

The best description I have ever heard about grief besides the fact it is with you always, is that it comes in waves. With the loss of my cousin Cornelius comes the wave of grief for my Uncle Larry, his father. Not until I learned you had transitioned suddenly did I realize how much you still being here felt like my Uncle was still here too. Knowing you are now gone makes his death seem more final than ever. We were cousins yet never lived in the same space or place. We shared visits and a summer or two with your special hugs and the world you lived allowed us to love you whether near or far. Yes, you made us better people when you helped us understand you through your unique capability of having autism. Your autism forced us to be quiet to hear you even without words, patient to know you in all the ways you showed your personality but most of all expanded our sense of what love looks and feels like. So, despite now reflecting on how I or we could have spent more time with you and being repentant for taking the time we had with you for granted I am comforted in always knowing you were and felt loved and cared for by my Aunt Barbara Ann. You were the last piece of my Uncle physically here for us to see and touch and for that I am grateful but now that you have joined him I grieve for losing you and him again.