Number 4

Yesterday was Mother's Day - I got loads of texts, FB posts and countless in person Mother's Day wishes. Many think it is my first Mother's Day yet, it was my fourth Mother's Day. I became a mother April 2012 and November 2012 to my two angel babies, Kennedy and Langstan. I know some feel awkward or uncomfortable about the mention of my angel babies, but they were birthed and lived (if even for a short time) as my babies so I will always include them in my motherhood story. I am forever connected to those who have wished me Happy Mother's Day these past four years. Having my rainbow baby (baby born after a storm/loss) makes this Mother's Day momentous and bittersweet. Momentous because now anyone and everyone can see me as a mother with him in my arms but also bittersweet because his older siblings are missing from our family. This experience has made me a much more deeply feeling mother that thoroughly lives in every movement, minute and moment of his growth, change and development daily. Having carried this desire to be a mother these last 5 years makes Mother's Day belong to me each day I awake, even if it is 4 am most days. So, no it is not my first I have been celebrating Mother's Day for four years keeping the memories of my other babies alive with me now as Kaden's mom. I am focused on being his mother which is enriched having mothered Kennedy and Langstan. This day can never pass without me speaking the names of all my children which I hope helps to acknowledge the place of all women who are mothers to angel babies and women who are battling to become mothers. Mother's Day encompasses all women in the diversity of what being a mother means and it's not always the babies/children you see that make a woman a mother.