????

I never asked why before but now I have this burning inside needing to know why medically and spiritually. My faith was injured the first time but not enough to question but now I am questioning everything. Like what will my life be like until I have a family? Having a family has been my focus for the last two years I have turned down jobs and career opportunities in anticipation of having a baby but now there is no baby and where am I? Where are we - my marriage? Tons of questions and no closer to answers afraid to ask HIM not sure if I want to know HIS answer about my life. Afraid it may be that children are not apart of my life. These thoughts are not good or positive and as my support would tell me God keeps HIS promises and children are apart of HIS promises. There are days where I see myself clearly then there are times that I am not sure who I am which creates more questions of who am I becoming? Knowing that there are others who have gone through this journey helps me feel I am not alone but still does not quiet my questions. Why me? Children when? Healthy place spiritually and for my marriage?? But one question I do know answer too is God is love...