Not yet...

We have not been back to our home church yet. Every Sunday I awake ready to go back home and worship with my brothers and sisters in Christ but then I become overwhelmed with facing people who may not know that we lost our baby girl. It's that anxiety & finality of Kennedy's life/death that keeps me from facing those outside my immediate circle. I know I am strong because I am still here with my right mind (Praise God) but facing others at times is something I am not always ready to face. God knows all because as I was writing this entry my Pastor calls and I hear him praying...wow I am always amazed by the the timing of God it not ours but always right. We will be at our church this coming weekend I have to fight the fleeting feeling of 'I can do this' that is at times seasoned with 'not today'. Not yet does not mean never it means I am on my way/we are on our way. We are there, just have to get our actions to follow that confession/belief.