How Long???

Do you know how hard it is for me to hold my tears inside? I lost someone special and it is hard for me each and every day. I may look strong but did you know I am fighting daily to be this way. So please have patience with me...I will never be the same person I once was. But I am trying to be the best who I am, right now. I borrowed this saying from a support site - but I often wonder about time on this journey. What agitates the most are those who feel and even say 'move on', to what, I think in that moment. Or those who say and are thinking 'you should be over this', 'when will you be over this' and I think what do you know about this ? Yes, I want to have another baby and am actively trying but that does not mean I am 'over it'. I am still daily on this journey dealing with my loss and dreams I had for Kennedy Joi and how my life was to be. My life is forever changed because of her though not in the way I ever imagined. Reinvisioning my life seems to be my new task each day that I am not pregnant or the mother of a living child. This task is one that is fresh for me with each new day God grants. I know HE is there because I have the mind to want to move each day further than the day before.