We (I) Made It...Now let's stop

I was quitting everyday but I - I mean we managed to stick it out for 6 months -this was my daily mantra during my breastfeeding journey. I wanted and planned to breastfeed because of all the great things it would provide for my baby's health and the bonding. Well, it is the hardest job - who would have thought next to pregnancy and c-section recovery nursing a baby would be this intense. Whoever says it's beautiful lies. It's painful, long suffering, and the most exhausting experience that I will forever treasure. Knowing my body was doing something right after I felt it was wrong when I lost two babies before my rainbow, Kaden, arrived. Seeing through drowsy eyes, mostly hearing, my son being fulfilled by something my body produced just for him was an astounding feeling. The pressure to breastfeed is also rivaled by its stigma or shaming when something encouraged is done publicly- how ironic. Breastfeeding seems to be an oxymoron in our pop culture and because of this I rarely venture out often because of my lack of confidence nursing. This natural thing I seemed to execute rather clumsily outside of my home. So, being a new mother became more isolating since I did not feel sure, safe or completely covered if my son and I went out. Despite an additional layer of isolation to being a new mom at home with a baby, he and I made it through for the first half of his life doing what's best for him. Parenting is about sacrifice which I will explain to my breast now that I have them back - I think!?! For those debating to nurse or not remember being the best mom is to do what feels right for you despite social or other pressures. For me I had to keep telling myself that when I decided to supplement at night to give the boobs a break. Initially, I felt like a failure but I came to the conclusion anytime you take care of yourself you are being a good mom. You have to be whole in order to give yourself fully to your baby or children. So, farewell discomfort, breast pump, stretching, milk bags and ice packs but hello to cleaning bottles and mixing formula. Contrary to popular beliefs I will not miss nursing, I will continue to snuggle and bond with my baby. Nursing taught me the most important lesson which is to do what you think best for baby and yourself - becoming a mother enhances not eclipses the woman you are.